i’m back.

contact sheets: robert frank / the americans

what i’ve been looking at.

again.

it’s been awhile…again.

i’ve been so busy it seems. busy finishing my position paper for graduate seminar, busy with working up my smith hall project, obviously busy with photo stuff, busy with photo 1 and grading final things that were all due at the end. just busy. and on top of all of this, my grandpa’s health is still managing to consistently fail, and of course, i’m trapped at marshall university with no time it seems to get 2 hours away from home to visit before it’s too late. i attempted a visit over this past weekend, but the snow got so horrendous about halfway through the trip there, i had to turn around and come home in fear of not being able to get home that evening. after that, my brother put his car vertically in a ditch (unharmed, thank god) so that kept me wrapped up for awhile waiting on a wrecker service. snow makes me tired. i hope it holds off until i’m finished making my daily trips up to west virginia.

other than that, life seems to be going ok. i’m excited to finish up my third semester. three down, one to go. one to go…that makes me nervous. i’m going to spend a lot of time over break shooting portraits and trying to put some perspective on this project i’ve been working on. there are many other things to do first though, then a much needed break, then shooting. it’s all a cycle anyway.

over christmas break, not only am i going to get a lot of shooting done, i’m going to take some much needed time and stay in chicago for about a week, maybe a little longer. i figure that is going to be the best way to end the year and surround myself with good vibes as we get into 2009. i will need as much good karma as i can get.

back to putting the finishing touches on my paper. thursday, you can’t end quickly enough.

missing

it’s been awhile. sorry about that.

i used the break to catch up many things…most importantly, making my trip to chicago and getting my visit in. i didn’t want to leave…as usual, but did and it was hard.

field museum, chicago

scrapbook in field museum, chicago

museum of science & industry, chicago (led dress)

jim at field museum, chicago

back to kentucky i came and began working on my paper and took a small break to pause for the holiday. thanksgiving was good this year. my mom actually trusted my dad and i to cook a turkey (what was she thinking?) and we made it through ok. it was disgusting though, i won’t lie. she even trusted me to fix the stuffing (with her recipe, of course). my family and i spent thanksgiving evening in the hospital visiting with my grandpa and he’s still not doing well. as of today, he’s went downhill considerably since then and doctors/nurses are having a hard time keeping him maintained. i’m not sure what is going to come in the next few days, but hopefully i will be ready.

thanksgiving day

thanksgiving day with family

papa in hospital on thanksgiving

i’m putting the finishing touches on my position paper and will also install my part of the smith hall project this week in the bathroom. i have two photos in the buswater show in charleston and will go to the opening on friday night. many things to look forward to…many things to keep me busy/pulling my hair out. check back with me in a week and see if i’m still sane.

until then.

paperwork.

i don’t know what my deal is, but i can’t seem to get it together.

i feel like as soon as i scratch off one thing on my huge list of things to do, another thing pops right back up and gets added. ugh. i feel like i’m drowning in piles of paperwork.

my rough draft for my research paper is the first on the list, but i feel like i’m not writing it fast enough.

maybe i should enroll in a time management skills class. i really think i need it. either that or an extended vacation. i like option 2 better.

being incredibly exhausted isn’t helping much either.

i’m going to prop my eyes back open and get back to my duties.

yes we can.

“if there is anyone out there who still doubts that america is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.”
-president elect, barack obama (grant park election day rally, chicago) on nov. 4, 2008

there’s something different in the air today. it’s an amazing feeling knowing that american can change and that the people still have the desire and the capacity to make change happen. i always hear these stories about these great historical moments from family and friends being able to witness them in real time. last night, i got to witness mine. it’s been a long race, but this just goes to prove that we still live in the greatest country in the world.

yes we can.

it’s all happening.

it’s all happening at once. lots going on at one time.

papers, photographs, all kinds of goodies.  i’m getting it done though, slowly but surely.

this past weekend was one of the greatest so far. i’m glad for it. it was a nice and refreshing way to get back into the swing of things this week. after a weekend like that, monday doesn’t seem so bad.

more to come later. as i’m scratching off lines from my “things to do” list, somewhere in the middle i have to get some negatives scanned and get some work online. it keeps getting pushed back, but it will come soon-ish.

…

today was a hard day no matter which way i try to remember it and approach it.

this morning was a good one. i can’t complain. i woke up in an amazing mood and listened to 80s music on my way to campus this morning (come on eileen) and sang along. all was right in the world.

erin told me the news about chris worth and it broke my heart. what a strong person…that’s all i can say. i hope that somewhere during the path of my life i can find such strength to exist and find that sense of individuality that chris has. everytime i see him, he always compliments me and is just so incredibly nice and interested–he makes me feel so good. i hated that such an awful thing happened to such an amazing person. my heart was so heavy after hearing that news.

more bad news came after we finished critiquing around 11am–news that stan sporny had passed the day before. it’s like you get hit with a ton of bricks and as soon as you start to look up, you get hit again. i didn’t know stan very well and have only been in contact with him for about a year, which pales in comparison to all of my other marshall friends who have known stan for years.  i always appreciated his charisma and indifference and his ability to express his honest opinion despite criticism or opposing belief. he was a good, strong man and an excellent artist who exhibited such determination and dedication.  in fact, i think that’s something that we all can use–putting a little love and a little sweat in our work.

as the day went on, thoughts of stan really stuck with me and i couldn’t shake it. i kept thinking about hearing people talk about what happened to him and really, i wondered if it was appropriate that’s even what i was focusing on. i just kept thinking about his work and maybe in his final moments, that life was quiet and still and when you are all alone in a moment that’s about to end, but you are unaware–i wondered what that felt like. i could just keep imagining solitude and sitting and taking in the smells and colors of fall and wondering maybe what that was like.  i’m sure when you strip everything away that maybe, just maybe, that was a moment that was beautiful.  i hope that it was the most beautiful moment to be experienced and i hope that he felt that. rest in peace, stan. you surely will be missed.

i’m going to bed with a heavy heart tonight, but things will look up from here.

sickness.

i still can’t get over this sickness.

i ended up canceling my night class, photo 1, tonight.  my ear is still plugged up and after the past couple of days, i’ve developed this heinous cough that keeps me awake at night.

i’m tired and cranky and just want this to stop.  i have so much to do that i’m excited about doing, like printing, and i just don’t have the energy to do it right now.

ugh. here’s to feeling better.

morning thoughts.

i woke up this morning thinking about printing and shooting.

lately, i’ve been having dreams where i can see my work hanging in a gallery somewhere. it is framed and looks nice and i can see the imagery in the frames pretty clearly.

if i start making this work, it’s going to creep me out a little.

i’m excited though. my trip to chicago revived me. i feel like i have a little excitement in my life and now, a lot more love, and that makes me so happy. it puts a new perspective on things. i came home and looked around and it’s fresh–like looking at things through a different set of eyes. i’ve been daydreaming and dreaming and most importantly, remembering.

life is ever so sweet. it’s even sweeter with such a heavy heart.

catching up.

i have been sick for the past couple of days and basically, i feel miserable. my left ear is stopped up (geez, i can’t hear a thing) and my throat is terrorizing me. it’s hard to swallow. i will get better…but that day cannot come soon enough.

after spending the weekend in chicago, i am so excited about getting back to work and getting the semester closer to being finished. i have been doing a lot of good reading and looking at a lot of great art–i saw some in chicago while visiting some galleries in the city.

Jane Fisher (painter): http://janefisher.net
this is an image that i found online of her work installed:

installation

this is not the work that i saw, but it is similiar. still, it is great and i loved it.

another artist that i came across is kate kretz. the piece of hers that i saw installed was a hair embroidery…and actually, i snapped a quick photo of the piece for my friend and peer, adrian, who works similarly to kretz.

http://www.katekretz.com

another great artist i came across is teresa mucha james.  i do not know much about her, but i do believe she is a chicago native.  i saw this piece hanging in the same gallery as the above two women and really enjoyed what i saw.

the unseen world, 2004

besides looking at art, i visited with great people, did “tourist-y” things like go to the top of the sears tower (!!!), shopping, and eating excellent chicago food. and of course, navy pier fireworks on saturday night topped the weekend off.

from the city

stuffed pizza. mmm

from the sears tower skywalk

but i am back and revived and it’s time to get the show on the road.  i’ve been in a great mood (despite the wretched sickness) and loving life thus far.

20 days till election day.

and as always…john mccain is still a robot.